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:firstname: How's it going? I hope the weather's as lovely near you as it is here at the moment.

OK, well following my special edition for those in search of a London Life Coach last time, today we're back to the usual cocktail of news, freebies and offers from the coaching world - which of course, is yours and mine.

Free Offer...

Free written advice for you - effectively free single-crank e-coaching. So - you'll get the best advice you could buy (probably...!) - for free - if you post the situation you're looking for help with, here.

Be brave! Wonderful things happen when you're brave...

What's Up?

Trying again...

If at first you don't succeed - well, it was a silly bloody idea to begin with. Right?

Hmmmm. Doing the same thing again is likely to fail in the same way again - but only if it's all exactly the same. If it isn't - then you might get a different outcome.


So - if you tried dancing ten years ago, you might think you know that you are not cut out to dance. But ten years ago - perhaps the teacher was an idiot, or perhaps you were more self-conscious, or were carrying some faulty thinking which was blocking you. Trying again might be very different this time around.

So I have two insights for you.

Firstly, take those things you think you know about yourself - won from cold hard life experience - and toss them in the bin. Explore what life might be like if they were not true. Pick the strongest one first. What if you were NOT incredibly shy? Or "ugly"? Or "not cut out for teaching" or conflict-averse? Or whatever else it is that holds you back. What new doors might open that thing was NOT true of you?

Sometimes our thoughts make our truths, and drive our actions, then our actions drive the world to respond to us in certain ways which re-enforce our truths and so on. It's a circle I've discussed often.

Secondly, recognise that very few things deserve the importance we give to them. If we make them less important - if we can smile at them like the little children they often are - then we can find the motivation to try again. And if we do, - who knows what life stuff might lie beyond?

Knowing vs. Doing
- the chasm between failure and success

As you may recall, I recently launched a new service offering pin-sharp focus on exactly the progress you want. If you signed up to one of twenty three focus areas, then I'd send you a series of articles written specifically for that goal.

By the way, you an still do that here but before you do - please read on.

Start Climbing!

Writing these sequences is a lot of (unpaid) work for me, and so - using one of my own favourite techniques (called "Ready, Fire, Aim") - I offered all the focus areas at once, but I didn't write any of them until I knew what you wanted.

The most popular area was Finding your Life's Purpose, so I wrote that one. Knowing that commitment is essential to progress, and that we learn more by doing, I included some very short exercises which used the concepts in the modules; completing each exercise would grant you access to the next module. And six modules in - ONE PERSON LEFT!

If you're one of the people who signed up for this focus area, by all means let me know what happened from your perspective by replying to this email.

But I think I already know. I've learned over the years that - left alone - we tend to lose focus, commitment, and motivation. Initial enthusiasm turns to pessimism and we lose belief. Without belief, there is no reason to invest EFFORT and so we don't. That's one way regular coaching helps - the weekly calls provide a framework of accountability and motivation and the financial investment you make commits you to do your best.

Here's the bottom line. It's not just the bottom line for you and me, or for you and coaching. It's the bottom line for you and your life. It's my most-used phrase, but it is at the core of all personal change.

If you keep doing what you've always done
You'll keep getting what you've always got

Reading a book won't change anything. Learning what you should do won't change anything. Asking for - and receiving - advice won't change anything. Having an AH HAH! moment won't change anything. Making a resolution or keeping a diary won't change anything. Hiring a life coach won't change anything. All these things are only useful as stepping stones to DOING DIFFERENT THINGS. You have to make the moves.

Of course, many of us don't know what to do, don't know what we want (but not THIS!), don't have any spare time or energy, and we find comfort in the familiar and fear in the unknown, and so on. And so the items above - and others - are all useful in finding some key answers - but it will always coming down to doing new stuff.

Here's another way to look at it.

Consider the change you most want to make. Imagine what it would be like to have that change in your life today. Roll around in it a bit. Now ask yourself this question: What would I be prepared to do or give or change to have this thing in my life?

For example, Would you resign from work? Would you divorce? Relocate to the next town - or across the world? Would you stop wearing that perfume? Would you give up 2 hours a night? Would you pay £10 for a book? £100 for a course? Would you give up Saturday football, or your evening class? What is the biggest personal price you would pay to have this thing?

This does two really useful things.

Firstly, it helps you to calibrate your dream in the real world. To hold it against tangible things in life and compare it against them. You show your dream to a different part of your brain.

Secondly it hints at the truth that there is no such thing as a free lunch. There will be a price to pay, and almost certainly - it will not be one you'd LOVE to pay; you'll have to let go of something that you don't want to let go of. It might be tangible (for example, cash) or familiarity (your career) or security of some kind (facing a fear).

Personal change isn't really for the feint- or half- hearted. But the weird thing is that deep down - none of us are those things. We're strong, courageous and adventurous - but it's usually buried.

That's where I come in.


You don't have to be great to start,
but you have to start - to be great!

And that's right here


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