I Just Hate It!
Try to be more specific.
Narrow it down to particular aspects of work. Is it a particular
person, task or location? It's easy to generalise - to hate in broad
brush strokes - but if you can be more specific, you may see that
actually - 90% of the misery is coming from 10% of your work. And
that can be the beginning of change. When you can focus you have
more power to make change.
My Boss is a Nightmare
This one is so big I wrote a book about it, and I make no apology
for simply suggesting that you read
my book. It's tightly focused on techniques that
work, without drama, confrontation or risk. It's downloadable and
it's not expensive (£4.50 at the time of writing). Whilst
the title focuses on bosses who lie, the techniques are applicable
to generally difficult bosses. Download yours now here.
First, use the be specific
technique to narrow down what's less interesting. Then speak
to your boss about doing more challenging things.
Show your boss how giving you more interesting things to do can
give your boss more of what they want (generally less stress and
I am Not Progressing
Progression might be about pay, promotion or something
else. I you have one, use your job
spec to fully understand what they want from you.
If you can provide it, then do so - if you cannot, then bring logical
reasons to your boss. Use your performance
review process to register your accomplishments.
Where possible, use numerical measures of what you have done to
combat inaccurate perceptions. Ask
your boss leading questions like "What would
I need to do to get X?". "Help me to understand why A
got promoted and I didn't". This is a complex situation - there's
far more about it in my
Firstly, work out exactly why you
are stressed. Common reasons are over-work, endless
unrealistic deadlines, or performance anxiety - which goes to being
asked to do things you're not comfortable doing. When you are clear
about the cause, work with your boss
on removing it, but always from the viewpoint of
how solving this problem will give
your boss and your company more of what they want.
This is called goal congruency - and it's a very powerful and widely
useful technique - and yes - a lot more in my
This Just Isn't for Me
If you're sure then there is only one sensible course of action
and you know what it is, but you're probably afraid. I don't blame
you, but shine the light of reason
on your fear. Flush out the nightmare scenarios
and use your rational mind to see them more accurately. What can
you do to minimize risk? Recognise
the real choice you're making when you hunker down and stay put
- perhaps decades of wasted life against the instability and the
unknown of getting out.
The trouble is that - sometimes, it's not that bad, and
the angst or anger subsides, so you leave it a while. Perhaps a
long while. Until it bites you again, but this time you're another
year down the line.
You know why fairgrounds rides are such fun? It's because you faced
a fear and did it anyway, and after it was done, you understood
something new - that the fear was irrational. You can do the same
with your job.
I hope you can find the resources - courage, determination, control,
and so on - to make progress with your life at work. If you need
help - that's what I'm here for. The
book is a quick easy first step, but I can offer you a £10
initial phone consultation if you want to explore phone coaching,
starts from £40.