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“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”

Lao Tzu

Life Coaching

Building Focus, Energy & Courage - to Make a Better Life for You

Fundamentals of Life Coaching

Why would Anyone hire a Life Coach?

Look at your life as it is today, and as it will be in the months and years to come. If there are things you'd like to change to make your life run better, to realise ambitions, fulfil potential, be happier, less stressful, more profitable, more peaceful, sociable, or fun - then that's something life coaching can help you with.

What is Life Coaching?

Life coaching is a series of conversations between client and coach, which help you to:

  • Understand your situation
  • Clarify how you'd like it to change
  • Develop strategies to do that
  • Keep you focused on doing that
  • Deal with the human factors which tend to get in the way
    - like fear, faulty reasoning, stamina, pessimism and analysis paralysis

How it is done?

I usually coach my clients by phone, once a week. Initially we start at the top of the list above, clarifying the situation they're in, and looking at how they'd like to change it, and developing strategies. That usually takes one session.

After that, we enter a loop in which the client sets themselves goals to accomplish for next week. When next week arrives, we talk about what happened - good and bad - and about what we're going to do about it. The sessions are relaxed, friendly and fun - I use humour a lot. You're always in charge, you're always respected and I'm always on your side.

Why Does Coaching Work So Well?

Part of it is really straight forward, some of it is not. Here are the main factors which lead to its impressive success:

  • We're taking you out of your life to look back in on it.
    Many of us don't find the time to do that often, but coaching invites you to do it weekly
  • We're changing paradigms
    - away from describing how bad the problem is, into what the best solution can be.
  • I'm on your side, and I'll respect you, but I'll also challenge you when it's appropriate,
    which most friends won't do. So you'll see a more honest picture of your place in the world.
  • I am trained to listen to what you say and find the hidden beliefs which (unlike willpower) drive your behaviour.
    When I can show you that one of your beliefs is mistaken, I can free you up to see the world more clearly.
    You'll see doors open which you didn't know were there.
  • I can help you with fear. Most of us are not consciously aware of the extent to which fear limits our lives.
    I won't be pushing you off any cliffs (as I mentioned - you're always in charge),
    but I can shine a gentle light on your demons and remove their power to hold you back.
  • I have a host of practical skills which you can borrow. Inter-personal skills, time management, de-cluttering, maintaining focus, anecdotes from my case files, business skills, Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques, and more. You have access to them all.

These are what will get you moving towards your exciting new life like nothing else can.

What do People Coach on?

Lots of things. At work, people want to be happier, get promoted, more money, less stress, to manage staff better, to develop sound strategies, or not to bring work home and so on. At home, they want to be happier, de-cluttered, have a better social life, find the perfect partner, find more peace. They may have ambitions - to start a business, travel the world, move to foreign parts. They may be at a crossroads and not know which way to turn. They may be deeply unhappy without really knowing why. They may seek more confidence, or to lose weight. You might think about these areas of your like:

  • Work
  • Finances
  • Significant Other
  • Social life
  • Environment (home etc.)
  • Health
  • Spiritual (not necessarily religion)
  • Family

- and award marks out of 10 for each area. Then, ask yourself "which area, if fixed to score 10/10, would have the largest positive impact on my life?". That would probably be the starting point for your life coaching.

Reasons People Discount Coaching for them

  • I wouldn't want to risk my money in case it didn't work
    You don't need to. I offer a 20-minute initial session to explore things with you by phone.
    It costs only £10, which is refundable against the cost of a full session.
    I also offer a full un-conditional money-back guarantee on all of my coaching session. You cannot lose.
  • I've seen coaches on TV - they're horribly American - this isn't for me
    Yeah, I know what you mean, some of them make me cringe too.
    But I'm not one of them. Hear my my BBC Radio interviews or see my videos.
  • I already know what I should do, I just need to get on with it
    Fair enough, but if you've been that way for years,
    then ask yourself if it's likely that things are going to be different looking forward.
  • I'm beyond help / I'm uniquely flawed
    Yeah, we all feel that way, but we're all the same kind of mixed up inside, and no-one is beyond help.
    People think life coaching is about getting your act together, or trying harder,
    and they have a lifetime of experience telling them that that won't work.
    Life coaching isn't like that. I take the real you - as you are today - warts and all,
    and we ask "How do we get this, real-world you, through that hoop over there?".
    I have a lot of low tricks up my sleeve - you'll love it :o)
  • I'm full of uncertainties. I'd be a mumbling idiot on the phone
    I'm there for you, and part of that is putting you at your ease and helping you.
    I'm good at this! I'll get you over your nerves, and we'll enjoy a joke about
    how odd it is that we humans can be so smart in some ways yet so oddly in the dark in others.
    We'll get past this very quickly.

  • The line above isn't blank by mistake - this reason is the one no-one ever says out loud,
    but it's a biggy. People are afraid.
    Afraid of what we might discuss (you're always in charge, remember),
    afraid to open the flood-gates on despair,
    afraid to admit that things could be better,
    afraid of what's over the brow of that hill,
    afraid that they don't deserve or couldn't cope, with a bigger, better life.
    All I can say is I understand, I go here lots with clients.
    F.E.A.R. Is False Expectations Appearing Real, and they are never real.
    It's never how you thought it would be when you get there, and it's usually far nicer.

Practically, how do I get Started?

  1. Fill in the booking form, and book an initial session for £10 paid online.
    There is no commitment to continue, and I won't put on on the spot in the call,
    I'll just invite you to have a think about it and call me if you'd like to continue.
  2. If you do, contact me again, we'll get our diaries out and book a session.
    I'll give you a link to pay for your session (or buy a block of four at £ each)
  3. I will send you some exercises to complete and return before our session.
  4. At the appointed time, phone me up. I'll have read your exercises, and we'll be coaching.
    We'll start by selecting your coaching topic,
    and then we'll look at what you want to accomplish in that area.
    We may get into strategy, too.
  5. At the end of the call, you can decide to book another, or not.
    If you do, we'll talk about "homework" to do between sessions (you're always in charge).
    If you're really unhappy with what you got for your money - claim the refund.
    If that's too embarrassing, do it by email!
    (in eight years, one person has asked for a refund - so I hope we won't be going here).

Here's an interesting Video

Last time I announced a new survey (here) to collect your thoughts about you and coaching. Lots of your completed it - thanks - and the insights I gained were invaluable. I've made a 10-minute video summarising your views along with my responses.

I want to know More!

There is a frequently asked questions file, a look into my coaching case files, a look at coaching versus counseling, something for the skeptics, a lot of client testimonials, and a vast array of articles.

One Last Thought


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