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Life CoachingBuilding Focus, Energy & Courage - to Make a Better Life for You |
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Why Don't We Change Our Unhappy Lives?
As I mentioned in my article on Overcoming Inertia, the number one reason why people stay unhappy is that they don't do the stuff to make things better.
Sounds pretty obvious, but it's a huge stumbling block for many. You can talk about how bad things are, but it won't fix anything. You can dream about how things could be, but it won't fix anything. You can talk to other people, exchange ideas, share dreams, attend seminars, and read inspirational books but it won't fix anything until you start do do things.
And you know what? When you do start to do things, I virtually guarantee that they will not go smoothly, and that you won't like it.
Uplifting, huh?
Well, I'm sure you'd like a quick-fix, but I'm betting you don't really believe in quick fixes, nor trust anyone that tries to sell you one. At least I hope so! There's no getting around it - making things better is challenging work. Of course, that's why we tend not to do it, and it's why coaches are such a valuable help. But there's still work involved. Head work, hand work and foot work and heart work. A coach can lead you to water, but you have to finally drink it yourself.
Here's a little challenge for you. If you accept the challenge but then fail it, then I would say you are not yet ready for coaching, because you are unwilling to live outside familiar territory.
OK. Here's your challenge:
1. Choose one fixed 5-minute slot each day to meet this challenge. You can be at work, or at home, or elsewhere, but you need to be able to relax and be un-disturbed.
2. Arrange some reminder at this time each day. If you're at a computer, you might set an alarmed meeting in your computer's diary. If not, you might use an alarm clock. But something to tap you on the shoulder.
3. When the alarm goes off, meditate for five minutes. If you can, arrange for another alarm to tell you when to stop. You can find out how to meditate here.
4. Do that for five days.
Here's what will happen. If you have not meditated before, then even 5 minutes seems like an eternity. They say that meditation is "simple but not easy", and that is so true! On day two, your alarm will go off, and you'll think "Oh really - not now!" One day later, your motivation will be all but gone, and this commitment you made will seem silly, pointless, irritating and boring. Your mind will tell you that NOW is *so* the wrong time (it does that a lot, doesn't it?). You will feel anger as the half of you that demands freedom in the moment confronts the half you that wishes you could do what you say you would. (That half doesn't usually win, does it?)
But do it anyway!
Do it because you said you would. Do it because this time your underdog is going to win. Do it because it's an exercise in turning theory into practice; proof that you can make things happen. Do it as an inexpensive, low-risk trip outside your comfort zone. Do it because you don't like to lose. Do it to prove me wrong. Do it to start the process of internal change. Oh, and do it because the meditation may actually help you in ways you would never have expected.
This weird and not entirely
pleasant feeling
is what personal change
feels like.
It's odd. We're not raised to like this - we tend to avoid it. It feels wrong in some visceral way. But it isn't wrong - it is the very land of change.
Five of these sessions is 25 minutes in total. You have that time. You can pay that price. If you want to. If you don't want to, then my guess is you're not ready to hire a coach.
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