Click for UK Life Coaching HOME
Home > Self Help
Name:
Email:
What is 3 + three?
(spam check)

What My Clients Say...

What Is Coaching?

Online Shop

Services & Pricing

About Me

Coaching at Work

Self-Help Articles

Free Stuff

Life Coach BLOG

Work Coach BLOG

CONTACT

Can I Have Your Views?

Self Help Articles

Bad Habits

Past Predicts Future?

Meditation

Parenting

The Time Of Your Life

Leave That Rut!

Choices & Consequences

Change4Life?

The Selfish Key

Trying Hard Fails!

Self Confidence

Cosmetic Surgery?

Building Confidence

Self Tests

Your Hidden Beliefs

Your Hidden Values

10 Relationship Tips

The Language of Love

Brain Re-Programming

Your True Purpose

How to Find Love

Learn Fast - Stay Stupid

Dating!

Choosing Friends

Buying Happiness

Mid-Life Crisis?

Meet Your Norms

Powerful Goal Setting

Free Goal Reminders

Effective goal setting

Depression

Stress Management

Conquering Fear

Life Coaching CD

Inspiration

Be Happy Now!

Free Newsletters

Goal Watchers Club

Overcoming Inertia

Fluid Thinking

Happines Lifestyle

£10 Coaching

Follow me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter Click the image to follow me on Twitter

Please tell your friends...
Share |


December 15, 2017, 9:54 am

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Earl Wilson

Life Coaching


Building Focus, Energy & Courage - to Make a Better Life for You

Get Out of That Rut!

by

Coaching is all about change. One of my favourite quotes (you'll see it all over this website) is this one:

If you keep on doing,
What you've always done,
Then you'll keep on getting,
What you've always got.

I think there's a grammar issue in there, but that's... not important right now. So - to get on better with your partner, you must do different stuff, to get promoted at work - do different stuff, to balance your time more effectively, do things differently - it's always there - to make changes in your life, you must change the things that you do. It sounds obvious, but it's not easy.

State Bound Consciousness

One of the reasons it's not easy is a thing called state bound consciousness. It means we find ourselves pushed into a frame of mind by our surroundings. When you're at work, there is the smell of the carpets and the coffee, the sight of the office, charts, colleagues, the sound of the phones ringing, and so on - all of this tells your brain "Hah! I'm at work, so I must do worky things".

And when you get home, you get another set of sensory cues which tell you you're at home, but more importantly, tell you to be the you you are when you're there. When you're in the car - same thing.

This mechanism is useful - we can load in the right program to behave appropriately with little conscious effort. But it has a down side. This behavioural stickiness - this tendency to do the same stuff - is what we need to defeat if we are going to bring change into your life.

Let me illustrate this with an example bent from real-life. June is a PA and wanted to do more for her boss - to take on a larger role. So she needed to make changes in the workplace to signal that she was ready, to show her worth and willingness, and we agreed a set of things to do in our coaching session. But next time we met, she reported that it hadn't happened. She found herself half way through the week with no changes made; she'd forget - she'd lapse into fixed habits. She'd respond in an instant how she always had - without it crossing her conscious mind.

This is very common in my coaching practice and I now routinely offer the same advice.

Talisman

Strictly speaking, a talisman is an object carried by someone who uses it to bring them good luck or protection. I think if they work at all, they do so by changing the mind set of the owner, and that's what I'm looking for when I'm coaching.

I ask my clients to find a way to bring a visual cue into their change environment. It needs to remind them moment-by-moment throughout the day that things are going to be different; that they are not going to do what they've always done - they're going to do new and better stuff to build a new and better life. Since I started doing that, a large number of examples have emerged. Here are a few:

  • The little sheepy fellow ("Shaun") in the banner photo is one example which June used. Next to her IN tray on her office desk, Shaun looks up to befriend June and remind her to embed her new behaviours.
  • Frank found himself submerged in depressive thinking at work, so we suggested he change the wallpaper on his office desktop PC. We identified that - all things being equal - he likes stand-up comedy, so we got a photo of Jack Dee on stage for Frank's PC. It sits in front of him every minute of every hour of his working day, and the incongruity and humorous nature of Jack's image and reputation were brought to bear on de-stabilising Frank's negative mental state.

There are other ways to make something memorable in your changing space, but it's crucial to put the cue in that change environment, and where possible, choose the object for emotional resonance:

  • Put a bright pot plant near your TV, to remind you to do better with housework. The pot location is chosen to be near the TV, as this is the most tempting location for wasting housework time! And the growing flow symbolises the gradual growth of something new and lovely.
  • If you're trying to cut down your drinking, smoking or eating, perhaps you can find a visual cue to place in the space where you do those things - to remind you to stay conscious of what you're doing and remember the consequences. A photo of you from 10 years ago might be good, or a picture of your child. But choose something with a positive spin when you can - not a terror talisman!
  • Put a striking photograph of a high-rise office block in your spare bedroom office, to symbolise that you're going places and that there's a shiny business world out there to aspire to - if you can knuckle down and STOP PLAYING FACEBOOK SCRABBLE RIGHT NOW!
  • Wear a new brightly colours Swatch watch wherever you go, to remind you that you can be young at heart in everything that you do.
  • Stick a Homer Simpson figure on your telephone, to remind you that answering that thing whenever it rings is a great way to stay un-successful - and Homer is an irreverent guy, so that might help you to stray from convention in the phone-answering world.

So. Over to you. What behaviour are you going to start changing today? Where do you do this behaviour? What can you bring into that environment to remind you to change?

Have fun with it.

 

Take the Next Step

Subscribe to my free Personal Power Newsletters

Name:
Email:
What is 3 + three? (spam check)

You can LIKE this page, send it to a friend:

- or comment on it:



Join my Facebook Pages
Instant access to new items, an onlnie communuity, free consulting, offers and more

Click below, to join my Facebook main page

... and at any of these special interest pages:

These are new and small, but growing fast, so join them now.

Ready for The Next Level?

Call for a relaxed, friendly chat about how I might help you.
No pressure, no obligation, only £10

>>Book here



Click image to See More or Buy
Click for more or to buy The Time of Your Life
The Time of Your Life
7.50

This little Book of Secrets is a compilation of great techniques and insights from my coaching practice. Available in paper or electronic formats.

By default, you get the PDF download, to specifcy the paperback version, please click the image to go to the product page.

Click image to see more or buy
Please - let me know if these ads bother you.



About Life Coaching About Chris Self Help Articles Shop

Privacy Policy
Corporate Coaching BLOG
Life Coaching Videos
What Is Coaching?
Life Coaching Case Studies
Life Coaching Slide Show

Life Coaching
Code of Conduct for Life Coaching
Success Circles

Life Coaching FAQ

Mentoring

Executive Coaching
Life Coaching Thesis
Free Personal Coaching Newsletter
Counselling Versus Coaching
Low-Priced Coaching Consultation
Life Coaching Reality
Are You Ready for Life Coaching?
Coaching Prices Survey
London Life Coaching Days
Skeptical about Coaching?
Coaching Links


Why Choose Me as Your Coach?

The Time of Your Life
Happiness Now!
Does the Past Predict the Future?
Parent coaching
Self Confidence
Building Confidence Through Anchoring
Overcoming Inertia
Cosmetic Surgery?
Stress Management
Do you know who you are? Beliefs
MidLife

Crisis
Depression
Conquering Fear
Meditation
Inspiration
Your Life's True Purpose
Giving Up Bad Habits
Change4Life
Choosing your Friends
Living in our Heads
Ten Tips for Better Relationships
The Language of Love
E-Course: How To Find Love
Dating!
Closing the Consequences Loop
Brainstorming
The Real World You invented
Buying Happiness!
Meet Your Norms!
Powerful Goal Setting
Learn Fast - Stay Stupid
Listen to my BBC Interviews
BLOG


Low-Priced Coaching Consultation
Life Coaching by Email
[E-Coaching]
Life coaching products Online
Lies Bosses Tell You
When Your Boss Lies - special reportFree Career Tests
Life Coaching CD
Time Management E-Course
E-Course: How To Find Love
Goal Watchers Club
Fast Track Mentoring

Free Stuff!
Free Personal Coaching Newsletter
Free Working Life Coaching Newsletter
Past Announcements
Audio Program: Re-Framing
FREE Goal Reminder System

Admin
Support for Life Coaches
Become a Life Coach
Life Coach Courses
Life coach training
Insurance for Life Coaches
Help At Work
Coaching at Work
Executive Coaching
You At Work Survey
Happy in your Career?
Changing your Career
Delegation 1 Delegation 2 Delegation 3
Career Change
Brainstorming
Powerful Goal Setting
Plain Speaking in Corporate Settings
Free Working Life Coaching Newsletter

© 2004 - 2017 Copyright is asserted on all material on this website.
Webmasters - copies will be found and action taken.